News : Gallery to be the site of New Public Library

View of new library.


The BALLS is becoming a popular spot.

Bay Area Lending Library Services (BALLS) is the new cool place to have hit Sinners Bay town.
With its glamorous views of the bay through its generous gallery windows, the BALLS library is cited to be amongst the most ambient places to go and is fast becoming a hot spot for networking and socialising.

BALLS is introducing monthly reading club gatherings as well as other workshops in a bid to bring culture to the masses.
Only time will tell exactly how Sinners Bay residents will take to this idea.

News : Art Theft Leads to Gallery Closure.

The short lived Sinners Bay local artists gallery (SLAG) saw foreclosure on its premises when an art theft left the gallery completely devoid of its contents.

Early investigations seem to point to the gallery's chief curator as a possible suspect in what looks to be an inside job.

Neither the curator nor the police were on hand to give the press a statement at the time of this report.

News : Public Service Law Amendment

The Public Service Law (PSL), implemented by the local council in December of last year, was again revised earlier this week.
The white papers issued by the council advises citizens and visitors to Sinners Bay to be aware of the following :

Under the PSL, any person may be lawfully traded at public auction in Sinners Bay Market Square for a specific period of indentured labour as a form of restitution.
Rather than to incur more public spending in costly and lengthy legal processes; the law immediately applies to all persons who are unable to afford or unwilling to pay for any form of incurred debt.
A person who has been served with a PSL is actively placed in public auction for a period of 48 hrs during auction days. The public is invited to make private bids for any person on the auction block and their PSL contracts.

Persons whose PSL contracts are not bought by the public during auction, must serve their sentence in one of the following jobs* :
1) Selling Fish and Chips at the Cod Father
2) Waitressing at the Dogs Bollocks Pub
3) Table Dancing at the Dogs Bollocks Pub
4) Manning the laundry at the King Koin Laundrette
5) Offering Maid Service at the Bay Motel

*Job conditions are specified in each individual PSL contract and varies uniquely. This may involve the use of special uniforms, specific service or other apparatus.

A PSL can also be issued for the violation of the following state laws.

a) Prostitution without a license
b) Gambling without a license
c) Jaywalking
d) Leaving a vehicle unattended
e) Drunk and disorderly conduct
f) Impersonating a police officer
g) Obstruction
h) Littering
i) Shoplifting
j) Disturbing the peace
k) Public Indecency / Lewd Conduct

A PSL circumvents the need for prisons and prisoner systems.
The PSL is only suitable for minor and petty offences carrying a maximum sentence of up to 1 week.

News : Swamp Thing Kills Again

On June 28th at approximately 2pm in the afternoon, two bird watchers stumbled across the brutally mutilated body of a dead woman in the Sinners Bay swamp lands.
The unidentified woman was approximately 5'8" weighing 140lbs with medium brown hair, and found dressed in cotton pyjamas.
Whilst there were multiple knife wounds and lacerations to the body, her clothes did not appear to have any blood stains.




Medical staff at the crime scene, a Miss Jessica Jinshu (RN), declared the woman deceased. An exact cause of death may later be made known in autopsy findings though it is likely to have been a direct result of the violent slash across the victim's throat.
Miss Jinshu also commented that the body of another woman sustaining identical injuries had also been found in the swamp last month.
The police were again unable to comment at the time of this report.

---

Your Letters


Dear Daily News,

I would like ta report that some low life dun snunk into my box and stole my knickers. Please put an ad in that there paper that Louise Dreadlow is offerin a reward ta anyone who returns the knickers ta my box.

Thank you kindly,


Asha

Horrific Murder in Sinners Bay

Woman Found Mutilated
by Isabo Baxton

May 17, 2010, Sinners Bay -- Early Tuesday morning, police found the corpse of an unknown woman in an alley. The woman had been stabbed multiple times. The torso of the victim's body was covered with slash marks mainly focusing on the woman's breasts. One nipple had been almost completely severed.

As usual, Sheriff Gary Menna was unavailable for comment.

The following is a "confidential" autopsy report filed by Dr. K. Balut of the Sinners Bay Medical Center.

Autopsy Report May 17, 2010
Performed by: Dr. Kayleigh Balut

Victim: unknown, Jane Doe
Age: Mid/Late 30's
Height: 5 foot, 7 inches
Weight: 130 Pounds

Subject is an adult female. Subject has not yet been identified, dental records and DNA check is being performed in an attempt to positively ID the victim.

Subject appears to have been in fair health at time of death. External exam indicates multiple knife wounds all over her body. Most wounds are shallow, designed to inflict pain rather than damage. None show signs of healing, which would indicate that all wounds were inflicted over a short period of time, less than four hours, likely all in less than one hour.

Wounds listed as follows:
Right arm - three wounds to the upper arm, two to the lower, all less than 1/3" deep.
Left arm - four wounds to the upper arm, one serious cut to the inner elbow, one wound to the lower arm, one very shallow on the back of the hand. Inner elbow wound severed major arteries, and would have bleed profusely. All other wounds are consistent in size and depth to the right arm.
Torso. - Multiple wounds to the upper torso, concentrated on the breasts. Deep puncture stab wounds at the site of both nipples, depth of two inches. Right nipple was also sliced, nearly removed from the breast.

No stab wounds found below the victims waist. Defensive knife wounds are minimal, and no DNA was found under the victims' fingernails.

Large cut to the throat, four inches across, two and one half inches deep, severing the jugular. This is the cause of death.

Minimal blood found on the victims clothing, cotton pajama top and pants, indicating that the body was cleaned and dressed post mortem.

Internal examination of the organs show the subject to be in poor health for her age. Early stage cirrhosis of the liver is evident, as well as weakening of the heart muscle. A small stomach ulcer is noted at well. Toxicology studies indicate substantial amounts of narcotics, and blood alcohol reading is .08

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Mystery Man or Felon?

Lee Blackcinder. Who is he, really?

By Isabo Baxton

Sinners Bay, May 9, 2011 – Lee Blackcinder, local bounty hunter was recently been identified by a Second Life Bureau of Investigation (SLBI) agent as being the fake identity of former marine Sgt. Hannibal Smith.

The former Marine was stationed at Camp Lejeune in North Carolina during the 1980s. In March of 1991, Blackcinder/Smith was tried and convicted for killing an officer sometime during December of 1990. Several members of his squad witnessed Blackcinder/Smith repeatedly stabbing his commanding officer, Lt. Robert Hanscomb and shouting, “Merry Christmas! (expletive deleted)”.

Smith was sentenced to life imprisonment in Ft. Leavenworth, Kansas. On July 4, 1997, Smith (Blackcinder) and 7 others escape from their maximum security wing during a raucous 4^th of July celebration. Only 2 of the escapees were recaptured.

Smith (Blackcinder) resurfaced as yet another alias, Mark Black, in 2000 during a drug war over methamphetamine trafficking in Oregon. He was rumored to be a high ranking member of the West Coast Oregon Pagan Motorcycle Club chapter. After 13 members of the rival gang died after a series of fire bombings in rural areas of Oregon, Blackcinder disappeared, once again eluding authorities.

Sometime during 2009, Smith/Black/now Blackcinder reappeared in Sinners Bay claiming to be a bounty hunter. The Daily Sinner interview several of his targets and all but one of them claimed he used “excessive force” in subduing them. Interestingly, the majority of his female targets claim to have been sexually molested but refuse to testify against him for fear of reprisals.

The following account is by a victim who, for reasons for her safety, is known only as “Lori”.

“Hello, my name is Lori and I'm twenty two years old. I was on a road trip with a couple of my friends for spring break. I had to take a ferry that would lead me to a city where my friends were located but unfortunately, I fell asleep on the ride and ended up in a city called Sinners Bay but the town seemed so peaceful that I didn't expect anything to go wrong. Lee Blackcinder, took me to a bar in Sinners Bay. I drank a bit too much beer.

"I wasn't aware of what was going on when we went to his "lair". I never thought that he would ever harm me. He seemed like such a nice guy. Well, I was so wrong. He shoved me in his dungeon, ripped off my clothes, and used me in a sexually deviant manner. I was just beginning my life journey and he turned it upside down for me. I feel like part of what makes me who I am was stripped off of me.” At this point the interview ended due to the hysterical sobbing of the nameless victim and this writer’s complete lack of compassion.

Anyone having additional information about Blackcinder’s past should contact the Daily Sinner and the police department as soon as possible. Do not approach him as he is considered armed and dangerous.

Isabo Baxton Named to Helm the Daily Sinner

by Sinners Bay Staff

Sinners Bay, April 25, 2011 -- Isabo Baxton was named as the new editor of the Daily Sinner by publisher Dita Actor earlier today at a small gathering.



Baxton has primarily worked as a freelance editor and author of various on-line resources. Educated at Georgetown University, Baxton started her career at the Washington Post as an intern, rising quickly through the ranks for no apparent reason. When asked about her rapid rise, her editor said, "I don't know if she can write, but she gives one helluva blow job."

Baxton is a strong proponent of various UFO conspiracies and maintains the true reason President Obama doesn't have a birth certificate is that he was really born on a planet circling the 5th star of the Pleiades's. When questioned about this, Baxton replied, "Yes, he's an alien. I'm convinced of it. Those ears hide his antenna. Remember 'My Favorite Martian'? He has the same ears. "



Baxton states that her plans for the future of the Daily Sinner is to provide clear, concise, non-biased updates about the events and the politics behind the events in Sinners Bay. "Under my leadership, the Daily Sinner will probe into the darkest holes and seamy underbelly of Sinners Bay!"

When questioned about rumors of drug use and larceny, Baxton replied, "That's all nonsense, rumors concocted by my numerous enemies to diminish my journalistic integrity."

Local "Irish" Businessman Really a Brit?

Local "Irish" Businessman Really a Brit?
Stubby McGinnis Revealed!
by Isabo Baxton

The Daily Sinner obtained this photo recently from an unnamed source with a telephoto lens. Stubby McGinnis seen about town waving the Union Jack.

Sinners Bay, April 25, 2011 -- While supervising renovations at a local business, Stubby McGinnis was spotted with this British flag in a secret room.

Could Mr. McGinnis have anything to do with the British Flags popping up all over town? Rumor has it that McGinnis has taken to sipping tea and blurting out "God Save the Queen" at inappropriate moments. Said one of McGinnis' female acquaintances, "Yeah, I thought it was kind of odd that he wanted me to dress up like a Coldstream Guard and march about his apartment and address him as your majesty. But then, with Stubby, you never can tell."

Anyone who spots McGinnis behaving English should take a photo and contact Isabo Baxton immediately.

The Daily Sinner attempted to question Mr. McGinnis about this photo prior to press time. McGinnis refused to respond.

Local Bar "Accidentally" Raided By Police

Local Bar "Accidentally" Raided By Police
The Dogs Bollocks Shut Down by City Officials
Not by Shaggy Littleboots

The Pleasant Side of Sinners Bay, April 27, 2011 -- Early Wednesday morning, deputies from the Sinners Bay Sheriff’s Department were spotted erecting barricades and posting “Keep Out” signs blocking entry into a popular local bar, the Dog Bollocks. What the unusually proactive deputies failed to realize was the orders to shut down the bar had been forged.

Prior to learning that their orders were fake, one of the deputies candidly told the Daily Sinner staff, "City Health and Sanitation left a note on the counter at the Sheriff’s Office saying the Puppy Nuts, excuse me, I mean the Dogs Bollocks, was full of shit, and needed to be condemned until the health department violations are cleared up. Health and Sanitation was afraid to deal with it and passed it on to us. The Sherriff’s Office deals with ALL kinds of shit regularly, particularly around this bar. So, for us it was just your run-of-the mill shitty day."

When asked about Sheriff Menna’s position, the same deputy said, "I don't even know if he (Menna) knows, as this is sub- level shit for the "head" man. But it doesn't matter, because the health and sanitary well-being of Sinners Bay trumps any personal connections or politics. I mean if he wants to personally go and make sure Mr. McGinnis' toilets, or loos I guess since I hear he's a Brit, aren't plugged, he can, but the bottom line is Stubby just needs to get the shit out of there."

The mistake was quickly fixed, the barricades coming down almost as soon as they went up. We asked the Sheriff's office to comment and they declined as they seemed more interested in their lunch.

News : Gas Leak and Hostile Takeover!

A gas leak in the former Dog's Bollocks has led to the immediate shut down of all its facilities early Sunday morning April 17th.






In other news - The newly opened Happy Hooker pub on the water front is rumoured to have been muscled out of town by its sole competitor, the Dog's Bollocks pub - in a hostile take over bid.

New Editor to Take the Helm at the Daily Sinner

New Editor to take the Helm at The Daily Sinner

Associated Sinners Press - April 16, 2011

Sinners Bay, Second Life - Rumor has it that a new editor has finally been named to replace interim editor Shaggy Littleboots as editor of the Daily Sinner.

Ms. Littleboots will continue to work as first Ass Editor and help with the transition.

When asked if she regretted not being named editor, Ms. Littleboots responded, " Uh, Uh, wow, er, I guess it's not like a major disappointment, or nuthin. I mean, uh, I guess that since the new editor realizes I'm still the number one ASS, administrative support specialist, the best ASS in the office, that while that's not like ult, much less ult mag, uh, sure. I mean it's not like they're gonna pay her ASS anymore then they do me, so yeah, uh, it's ok. I'm cereal, it really is." ".

Sources are quiet at the moment as to the identity of the new editor. But this reporter has it on good authority that the new editor is a an incorruptible crusader out to rid the stain of corruption from Sinners Bay.

Isabo Baxton Attacked in Home
Suffers multiple injuries
Thursday, April 18, 2011

Early Thursday morning, Isabo Baxton, local resident and part-time bartender at the Dog's Bollocks was assaulted in her home after a rumored altercation in the bar.

She was found around dawn lying in a pool of blood by her friend Louise Dreadlow.

After spending some time rummaging through Ms. Baxton's personal effects and apartment searching for clues, Louise Dreadlow called the police and rescue squad once she realized that Baxton was still breathing.


The police arrived very quickly after the call, responding in only 90 minutes. Much to everyone's surprise, Baxton still clung to life. When the police asked Baxton if she knew who attacked her, the victim mumbled something that sounded like, "hat-wearing, f***tard."

Medical personnel say Baxton's injuries include a gunshot wound to the right buttock, a broken arm, broken ribs, punctured lung, broken nose, and multiple contusions. She had not been sexually assaulted.


All photographs of the victim and crime scene come from confidential sources.

Baxton was treated for her injuries and sent home to recuperate. Sheriff Gary Menna questioned Baxton Thursday evening and had this to say about the incident. "The perpetrator of this heinous crime will be caught. This type of thing is unacceptable in the Bay."

A confidential transcript of Sheriff Menna's is attached at the end of the article.

Sheriff Gary Menna has requested that anyone who may have seen Baxton arguing with aforementioned hat-wearing, f***tard should contact him immediately.

Confidential Transcript
Transcript of Sheriff Gary Menna questioning Isabo Baxton
obtained through confidential sources

Gary Menna knocks loudly on the front door. "Hello, Sheriff's office."

Isabo Baxton snores on the couch.

Gary Menna shakes his head, growling a bit and pounds on the front door. "Hello....anyone home?"

Isabo Baxton opens one eye and shouts, "You better be pizza delivery or I'm gonna fire my shotgun through the door." ((The lock on the door has been shot off.))

Gary Menna frowns a bit, thinking he heard a voice inside and pushes on the door.

Isabo Baxton looks up groggily at the person and with more than a little fear, "Get away from me, you cabbage-eating shithead!"

Gary Menna grunts, spotting the woman on the sofa and moves over. "Sheriff's office ma'am. I hear there was some excitement last night."

Isabo Baxton narrows her eyes and tries to focus and it finally registers that it's the sheriff. "Oh. Hello."

Gary Menna reaches into his pocket for the notbook and pen. "So did you want to make a report ma'am?"

Isabo Baxton contemplates this a moment, "Yes, I would."

Gary Menna flips open the notebook, running through the pages of drawings to a clean page and clicks the pen. "Alright, so what's your name?"

Isabo Baxton: "Isabo Baxton. Who are you again?"

Gary Menna nods, scratching that out on the page. "Sheriff Menna, miss Baxton. So what happened last night?"

Isabo Baxton: "Um, well I was bartending across the street and I was talking with one of the nurses, Jessica something, my friend Sienna Glas and the the whorehouse madame named Lissa-something and um.. Shoot, let me try to remember. I got Jessica a glas of red wine, Lissa had Jameson's neat, Sienna drinks vodka and cranberry juice." Shifts her weight to take the pressure off the bullet wound in her ass.

Gary Menna starts to smile slightly, thinking of the redhead nurse taped up and naked a while back. The smile starts to get wider thinking of a chained up naked Lissa, then he coughs a bit, starting to draw some stick figures on the page. "I see, so you tend bar over at the bollocks?"

Isabo Baxton nods her head, "Yes, yes, I do. Then someone came in wearing pajamas with fruit on them and he had a Mexican coffee which is coffee, kahlua and cream. Then..... " winces again. "Would you mind handing me the bottle on the table there?"

Gary Menna frowns a bit, moving over to the table and grabbing the bottle. He takes it over to the sofa and holds it out. "This one?"

Isabo Baxton smiles and nods and extends her good hand, "Yes that one. That's the oxycontin right?"

Gary Menna turns the bottle to look at the label and nods, handing it over. "Yep. So pajamas and Mexican coffee?"

Isabo Baxton opens the bottle slowly and fishes out a pill and swallows it along with a swing of water. "Then... well things get foggy for me. I remember Lissa taking off her pants, Sienna taking off her dress, the pajama man leaving, At some point, I lost my shirt and there was a lot of shouting. I remember opening my door to my house and small arms fire, then nothing until the medics found me this morning."

Gary Menna moves back to the chair, leaning back on it as he adds some flames to the little stick figures. Looking up to raise an eyebrow. "So there was an orgy going on? Before the gunshots, that is?"

Isabo Baxton thinks a moment and is not insulted at all that Gary thinks there might have been an orgy. "You know, I don't think so. There was this man... big guy.

Isabo Baxton closes her eyes trying to remember. "Bald, kind of hard to understand, smelled like cigars and cabbage and...." eyes fly open as she obviously recalls something. "OH!"

Gary Menna shrugs a bit, the interest going out of his voice. He starts to draw a robot on the page. "Hmmm, okay. So then, this big guy, was he the one shooting?"

Isabo Baxton nods, "Ah sure, yeah, I think so. Apparently, he shot the lock off my door, broke my arm, my nose, my ribs and shot me in the ass."

Gary Menna nods, adding a raygun to the robot before waving the pen to indicate the bruises and cast. "So you got shot first, then beat up?"

Isabo Baxton: "Oh, when I got home, I think it was the same guy who ate all the chocolate and left the toilet set up. " looks confused. "No, beat up, *then* shot."

Gary Menna lowers his head back down to the notepad to hide the smirk. He draws a spaceship on the page and then adds some lines from the raygun to the spaceship. "Yeah, us guys do that all the time. Well, I don't care for chocolate much. Anyway, do you know this guy? Cigar and cabbage guy?"

Isabo Baxton shifts her weight again, "No." then adds, "but the Madam, Jessica, Sienna or the Pajama Man might know."

Gary Menna taps the pen on the notebook, admiring the latest doodle for a moment, then looks up as he flips the notebook closed. "Okay, well we'll call you if we need any more information Miss Baxton."

Isabo Baxton: "Thank you." struggles to remember Gary's name, "Officer Krupke."

Gary Menna shakes his head, slipping the notebook and pen back in place. Turning for the door. "I'll let you get some rest then."

Isabo Baxton head dips as the drugs take effect and resumes snoring.